Real Life

I was wrong, the music can fade sometimes. This is where “choices and commitment” comes in. The decisions “we” have committed to is what would keep you dancing even when you can barely hear the music.

In my case, there was no “we” my fault – I assumed, princes and princesses stay in love forever I saw it in beauty and the beast and Cinderella ….and they lived happily ever after…

Wrong again, Disney is not real life.

John 16: 33 – These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Preparation starts before not during, let us see how it goes always ends up wrong. Tell me where this is going; I need to decide if I want to go there with you.

Preparation is not anticipating issues. It is a plan on how to deal with issues as they arise. A wise person said, “A goal or dream without a plan is just a wish”

  • Let some people in, there must be people in your life that love you genuinely who want the best for you. Let them in, they would see what love has blinded you from seeing. You know each other, these people can see the bigger picture
  • Do not sweep issues under the carpet. That is like slapping a Band-Aid over a nasty wound. Talk about stuff, how did this happen, what caused it, what can we do better, how should we deal with similar situations? Gifts are nice but they do not compensate for have proper and yes many times painful conversations
  • Patterns – they are the TRUTH. I do not care what anyone says about himself or herself, if they do not have a pattern to prove it, move on. Patterns do not lie, potentials are great but patterns tell it as it is.

The Truth

Listen, stuff happens. People change and people leave, that is okay. YOU WOULD BE FINE.

You would be okay, it would hurt you would feel like you messed up big time and maybe you did


Many times you would doubt yourself, question every move you took, word you said, cry bucket loads and drive or find yourself sleep walking to their house or your fav spot lol


Here are some DO NOT’s –

  1. Be bitter – you would hurt yourself more
  2. Plan a revenge – as dope as this sounds, there is absolutely no need
  3. Shut off the world – the healing process would take longer
  4. Blame yourself – Do it a bit and move on
  5. Refuse to date again – Personally I am guilty as charged, falling is not the problem staying on the floor is. How else would you prove you learnt anything
  6. Make the same mistake again – first time is a mistake, the second time a habit is forming. Watch it; it is easy to fall back on familiar patterns.


  1. Pray – This is the most important aspect, especially when you have done all you know to do.
  2. Reflect – take the lessons, what you did that can be done better. Character flaws that can be improved. What you “allowed” that shoul next be avoided etc.
  3. Take responsibility – it is easier to blame everyone else but you. well that won’t help you. Take responsibility for your part.
  4. Move on – be open to dating again. Life goes on, and please do not project your past experience on to others. It is a no no, it reeks of insecurities.

Let me just say this here that some people are not as mature and I do not mean age wise, some people do not admit their faults and wrong doings. Instead, they manipulate the situation to make you the problem – Narcissism (Topic for another day).

The only guide against these type of people especially in this day and age where people can have dual personalities and you would never know true colours is via the Holy Spirit accessible through prayers. Prayers is not your last option, it is your life card. Pray when you speak, pray when you are sure and not sure, pray when you need to meet, pray every minute.

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right through my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve felt. C.S. Lewis

But when it was done, it was done. And the skin stayed off. (Found on IG)

If you have experienced similar, I am praying for you that you find peace and healing quickly. I do not know if the pain ever goes away totally, I still have a slight numbness thinking about it. I can assure you, YOU WOULD BE JUST FINE and better and stronger for it. God does not waste people’s time and experiences.

I love you and I am rooting for you.

Love and light


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