The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right through my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve felt. C.S. Lewis
But when it was done, it was done. And the skin stayed off. (Found on IG)
“There wasn’t any butterflies the first time we spoke; it was so ordinary I thought nothing of it.
But the second time hmmmm, the second time it clicked, something about the conversation made me feel like I could speak to this person all day and about anything and not get bored.
I really liked him, and then I loved him. Real life princess and my prince. Finally, everything I imagined and expected was finally here.
Of course some things did not add up – na, this is just my pessimism trying to poke holes. Some things were obviously off – Jes relax, you do this when it looks to good.
One day it all stopped, Not gradually just suddenly stopped.
One minute it was all cool, some issues here and there, the next minute the rug literally was pulled from under my feet. The first couple of weeks was filled with confusion, what just happened? I mean, why would anyone do this to me? What did I do wrong? I must have done something wrong, I am wrong
I did not know I could cry that much, it made absolutely no sense. Nobody ghosts me, or rather, I was not prepared to be ghosted and this exactly is my point.
Although this is a vulnerable write-up. I want to keep it light and fun. This is not a “he hurt me episode”, just because something did not work out does not make either party evil. I have tried to write this post a million times and if it was in the days of pen and paper I would make a slow-mo. movie of me writing and throwing the paper in the bin lol like the movies you know. However, I still want to share this experience without downplaying it or being overly dramatic because I need YOU to focus on what was learnt as opposed to gist of what went down.
The truth is “stuff happens” that we are not prepared for. Like me, I was not prepared for the small stuff such as quarrels and arguments. I expected the fairy tale to never end.
Listen stuff does happens, people break up. Relationships sometimes, many times do not work. The important thing is not to create tragedies from them. You cannot force things to work out, you can do the best (your best might not be good enough for someone else) and that is okay. Be prepared to move on, do not stay there and be bitter or hang on for longer than necessary because of a picture you have in mind. If that picture is not mutual then it is okay to move on. You hurt more if you refuse to stop inflicting pain. Hence the “pulling of the skin”.
Imagine you are struck with a sharp object, your priority should be to take out the object causing the bleeding and or pain.Many times instead of taking the object out, we stick a plaster on and trust me every time you move or cough or sneeze it would feel like more skin is been pulled.
Disclaimer- I was and I still am a firm believer of a good and perfect marriage, I believe in a crisis free relationship and argument free marriage and I have proof that such exists. I have not changed my mind or my expectations. Just to be clear.
The perfect picture I created in mind and I was trying to project on to the other person is what I refer to as a fairy tale. A world where everything is smooth sailing and there are no worries. A world where there is nothing a perfume, hug, or “let’s not talk about this” cannot fix.
- My prince, his princess living in a world where nothing could touch us. We looked the part; we could deal with anything together. Let us not let the world in, they do not need to know our business. If I have you, nothing else matters. I get you, you make sense, I see your point, and other people do not know you as I do.
- It does not matter how wrong it was, someone said sorry and bought a gift to compensate. How else do you show love? Therefore, we would overlook the issue this time, and the next 10 times.
- There is a pattern here I know, what can I do? No one is that bad. The ex must have done something to warrant their exit. Moreover, this is different.
watch out for part 2
I love you and I am rooting for you
Love and Light
Being single is not a waiting game… Choose to live your best life everyday…Jessimiela Usidame